Why Is It Okay?
by xXxAmazingly.BeautifulXxX
Summary: Wake up, it's time, little girl, wake up. All the best of what we've done is yet to come. Wake up, it's time, little girl, wake up. Just remember who I am in the morning.


**This is a little drabble I've been thinking of. **

**Um, yeah. It's not gonna be hard for you guys to figure out what inspired this. So...yeah...well..**

**Enjoy.**

**~ "_Call all your friends, and tell them I'm never coming back." - Losing Your Memory, Ryan Star._**

_**Why Is It Okay?**_

Jade West tossed her phone on the couch, trying to push down the slow wave of irritation that had started to bubble in the pit of her stomach. _Oh God, I just absolutely ADORE when he does this. _She smirked at the saltiness of the sarcastic thought, and wished for a split second in time that someone would have been around to hear that. She quickly threw the wish away. She didn't feel like being around people at the time. But then again, when did she want to be around people?

And of course, the only person she wanted to be around wasn't answering her texts, yet again.

This was becoming a habit of Beck's. A very annoying, make you wanna pull your hair and scream at the top of your lungs, habit. She would text him "good morning babe" with a cute little smiley face, or send him a cute selfie of her, which she very much despised. And then she would wait for hours on end for a response telling her how beautiful she was, or a return selfie, or anything. And like ninety-five percent of the time, she got nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Sure, he told her he loved her all the time, always tagging her on Facebook statuses, or taking a picture of her and putting it on Instagram and pronouncing his love for all to see. But that was it. Now, don't get her wrong, she loved all the attention from him _online. _Offline, however, was quite different. They barely texted at all anymore. So Jade thought maybe he was just bored with texting, and she did something that she would never do, not even for Beck. She downloaded SnapChat and attempted that for at least a day, when, of course, Beck would never send her one back. Plus, taking selfies all day was stupid and pointless.

For a while, she thought maybe it was her, maybe she wasn't good enough for him anymore. She knew she wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world, and obviously her boyfriend was drop dead gorgeous; he could have anyone he wanted. And she wondered why he had choose her. She was so very far from perfect, and half the time she hated herself for being the way she was. Beck would always tell she was perfect and 'only his' and he was so proud to have her, and he still did, but he just seemed distance when they weren't together.

_And that's another thing, _Jade thought, plopping down onto the couch next to her phone, still staring at the screen and waiting for the name "Babyyy" to flash on the screen. It never did, and she went back to her ranting thoughts.

They _never _spent time together anymore. Ever since they had graduated from school, she was lucky if she even got to see him for more than a few seconds. Even though she was always making plans for them to go out and do things, he always had an excuse or something to do, or some new movie audition. It was the same when he would text her asking if she would want to go out and do something. It would be the day of when they had planned to go out, and he would text her an hour or so before he was supposed to come get her, telling her that something had come up. Then the disappointment and the not good enough feeling would come back, and she would slump back into the bathroom to change into the pajamas she had been in.

It's not like she had never confronted him with this problem. She knew he had a busy life. He had a job, and was going to college for acting, but he wasn't busy all day every day. He had days off of college and work, and at first she thought maybe when he had days off he was sleeping in or getting caught up on college work. That was until Andre texted her asking her why she wasn't with Beck. When she asked what he meant, he stated that Beck and the rest of the gang were going out to eat and then to a movie. Her heart dropped as she read the text, and simply answered with she wasn't feeling good.

_Why does he have time to go hang out with his friends, but he can never come see me?_

Why was it okay for him to go off with his friends and have a grand old day, but the second she texted him telling him she was going out with her best friend, he would get mad and act like he didn't want to talk to her? Why was it okay for him to ignore her all day, but the second she did he would post all of their business on social media making her seem like the bad guy? Why? Why?

_Why did he never make time for her anymore?_

_Why did he never tell her how beautiful she was anymore?_

_What happened to the cute dates they would go on, the ones that would end with them staying at each other's houses until it was absolutely, positively time to go home?_

_What happened to the lovey dovey conversations that she would never have with anyone else but him?_

_Why was it okay for him to treat her a certain way, but she wasn't allowed to do the same to him, to give him a taste of his own medicine?_

Jade gritted her teeth and clenched her fists together, standing up as she began getting madder and madder with each stupid question she asked herself. She desperately looked around, for something, anything, and quickly spotted an old glass cup sitting on the hard wood table beside the couch. She grabbed it, and with a wail of desperation she threw it down, the cup shattering into a million different pieces. _Almost like my heart, _she thought, trying to come up with excuses as to what happened to the cup so she wouldn't get in trouble.

_Why was it okay?_

The question kept repeating itself in her head. Why? She didn't know. Maybe it was because she just wanted things to go back to normal, and she just wanted to know she was needed by him and respected as his girlfriend. Half the time she didn't feel like that. And she hated feeling like that. She knew that Beck had a life to live besides constantly beckoning to her every will, and she tried to understand that. But the constant excuses and ignoring her and cancelling dates were beginning to take their toll on her.

There was no denying that she loved him, with everything she had. He saved her life. And she still needed him. She just wanted things to be the way they were. And she still needed to know the answer to that one question that was nagging at the corner of her mind.

_Why was it okay?_

**_Annddd, scene. _  
**

**No, but seriously. Umm, this is something that hit home for me. I have no one else to talk to about this subject, so this is the only way I could think of venting. **

**Sooo...review! Happy reviews, sad reviews, angry reviews, I take them all! :D Love me some reviews! They're what keep me going!**


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